Where the streets have no name

Anyone who's been in Pune for even a couple of months will know the deep dark jungle they call the "Peth". Abandon hope, all ye who enter here... and all that jazz.

Not for the faint hearted, only a person who's wants to take the ultimate test in driving will take a vehicle with more than two wheels into the shopping cesspool called Laxmi Road. Either that or a complete imbecile. And I'd be the first to say that I've been both.

Traffic in Pune is what I want to talk about today. And how to beat it. After ten years of experience in what I prefer to call stampede sense, I want to return the favour and publish a few tips about how to make your way around Pune in a safe and sound manner:

1. Stay put. The rationale is simple. Your impact velocity is likely to be lower when you are stationary.
2. The shortest distance between two points is the longer route. I have found that one can always find a route that has less traffic, less signals, less trucks, less buses, and so will get you to your destination faster, and within reason, will use up less gas. Confused? Most vehicles have an optimum speed in top gear that will give the most fuel economy. Moving at a snail's pace uses more gas.
3. You always have the right of way. The operative word here is "right". As in correct. Remember that you are always right. Especially at ambiguous places like unsignalled crossings and traffic islands.
4. If you can't beat them, join them. Pune is not a city for the righteous. Everyone and their grandmother (oh the irritating grandmothers) want to ride/drive in the "fast" lane. So you need to do what everyone else does. Honk them out of your way, or overtake from the left. Want another example? Those who ride bikes will remember how irritating it is when some idiot in a car tries to get past the bus at the signal through that tiny space... and then gets stuck. How much have you suffered because of this? So when you get a car, get your own back... try to get through the same tiny space everytime you find one :).
5. There are only two kinds of good vehicles, those that can get around obstacles, and those that remove obstacles. So either a small car or an SUV. Either a scooty, or a bullet. And ofcourse there is the everpresent rickshaw. If I can't get through, no one else will....

I can think of plenty more words of advice, but I guess you get the gist. When in Pune, drive like the Puneites do :).