Monday, October 24, 2005

Where have all the flowers gone?

And then there was the time when a flower bloomed. Life finally came into spring and the tiny tendrils in the brain were suddenly alive and the synaptic gaps there started firing. Its a very curious feeling... being in love... You want to _be_ there not be there... But I couldn't... And I couldn't... and I couldn't... and yet I should, I wanted to you know... but could my fragile emotional subsystem really sustain another?

If not for anything else, I liked the Matrix for that one quote that the Oracle makes to Neo (and I do like it for a whole lot of other things, I'm quoting this one from memory)... "Being The One is like being in love... you don't think you are... you know you are". The movie goes on to explain how Neo comes to _Know_ that he's The One...

And that kind of puts things into perspective... My fragile emotional subsystem would sustain a thousand more... and it still does... because I _knew_ I loved this woman... and I'll make a thousand changes (not sacrifices) in myself to show that I do... because she _is_.

I think that it was Sartre (and correct me if I'm wrong) who said that loving someone is not about _making_ a commitment... but instead, making it, and then, going through each day of your life, examining it, evaluating it and reinstating that promise... _every_ _single_ _day_ _of_ _your_ _lives_ _together_.

In which case where does love itself stand? The answer is right there... Love doesn't stand... Love simply is... But it needs a lot of support to continue existence... It will dissolve away the moment that you let go of that slim, thin, weak line that feeds it every day... and you have to feed it... all the time

And though it might look like it is not there anymore... you need to keep feeding it... It exists... You have to know it exists... The flowers are still there... _know_ that and the synapses will fire again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Tum,

It wasn't Sartre, it was Marcel. And he didn't exactly say that but was talking about fidelity to god.. but boiled down to our terms, that's how I like to take it too.. I mean your way.

Love you,
Tum