Smoking is a bad habit

For the last 2 months my smoking has gone through the ceiling. Back in India I used to smoke around 6 cigarettes in the day and around 5 in the night. Now I smoke around 6 in the day and 15 in the night.

I started smoking when I was 16. I must've smoke for around 3 months before I moved to a town that made it impossible to smoke without being noticed. That was a good thing. I was off cigarettes for around 4 years after that. I started again when I was in college. An I've been a smoker since. So that's almost 8 years of smoking.

The reason I started was peer pressure. That's the truth, even though I don't like to believe that. It makes me feel weak because I wasn't able to control my own life. But there it is. That realization comes in retrospect. I didn't know at the time that it was peer pressure that was making me hook on to something that's as tough to give up as this. And it wasn't active peer pressure like the type they show in those silly TV ads. Its not that someone is calling you uncool because you're not smoking. It's more of a deficiency in yourself, that causes you to think that you need to try out this thing that everyone else is trying out.

It is sad that most countries in the world allow smoking for people 18 and over. At 18 one isn't old enough to make the decision of whether they want to smoke or not. Or rather they aren't old enough to make the decision that they want to smoke. That age should be 21. But when has the law detered this kind of thing.

I did quit for a year after my post-graduation. But then slowly it returned. First pipes ( I must've spent around 3000 rupees on that ), and when i ran out of tobacco in Goa once, I switched to cigarettes, saying I won't inhale. You know how long that kind of thing lasts.

Now that I'm hopelessly addicted and disabled... I'm continuously thinking of a way out. Mostly it consists of resolutions that don't last beyond noon. But I'm planning. Some time next year. Last time I quit (for a year), it took me 3 months to get off them. This time, the best idea will be to go the same way. Reduce gradually, and then quit.

Saddest thing is that I remember all the things that I started tasting and smelling and feeling good about the last time I quit smoking. So this time I wouldn't even have the luxury of that support. It'll take some hard planning and thought. And resilience and responsibility. And I'll have to get over the question I keep having, "what will I do with my free time?".

In the mean time, before the plan kicks in, wish me luck... I'll need it. Thanks folks, in advance.